"Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom."... James Allen
A calm mind takes a lot of effort and self-awareness to develop. Forethought is mandatory, because the best way to calm a mind is by slowing your thoughts down to a speed where they can be processed. That is not a natural response, so thinking ahead about your fashion of thinking is necessary. Determination to be master of your own mind is a powerful incentive, where every success results in instant brain bliss, and any failure reflects a true example of weak places that need more exercise.
Finding your center is impossible if a storm is raging, and if you are not centered it is a sure bet that your core will be unprotected. Notions can be razor sharp and painful, directing their speed and volume is the only way to have personal control over how deep the pain becomes and how you deal with it afterwards.
You may open your door to every person who knocks, but you do not entertain them all. If thoughts offend do not dance with them... if hungry thoughts attack then refuse them food. Remember that regret is not for wallowing in, shame is a great teacher, but a deadly companion, and mind control is the mother of a calm mind and a quiet soul.
I'm adding this video "TWO WOLVES" as an aide toward true understanding of our power as humans to overcome the emotions that wreck havoc upon us all, if we allow our mind full reign without any direction. THINK ABOUT IT... LET IT RIDE... THEN YOU DECIDE!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else..... Judy Garland
The urge to fit in navigates some... the hunger to be different drives others... swerving in either direction too fast, too far, or for too long can lead directly to a crash and burn destination. The need to please or displease the multitude can completely overshadow who we really are, until that person truly ceases to exist. Losing yourself in the task of soothing or shocking makes life a burden instead of the adventure it should be. The spark may still remain, but the flame gets smothered by the constant internal fidgeting of a soul that cannot fit with comfort into the skin that it is in. I speak from experience, most of which was unpleasant... and although I am no longer suffering from the condition, I will never forget the price I often paid for someone else's happiness. The saddest part is that every time I imagined I was doing the dance perfectly they changed the music. There have been a number of "theys" in my life, and once upon a time I found comfort in blaming them for their misdeeds. Admitting that just because I heard music did not mean I had to dance placed the largest part of the fault at my door. When we own something it becomes impossible to ignore, but that is the first step to a final cure. Freedom from that trap began when I tuned out all the orchestras and started composing on my own. Every day is an adventure in self-discovery, and a celebration of just being me. I hope the backup singers in my life always bring harmony, but when they do not I will dance on to the tune of my soul... and I wish the same for you! Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained."... Arthur Somers Roche
This quote gives fair warning to us all to get control of our fears before they have a chance to take control, because if we do not they surely will. We all fear something, some of us are afraid of many things, but letting them build force and volume will only freeze us inside of boundaries that imprison our soul and rob us of hope. Every sea began with one drop and every flood has its levels, building in strength and depth over time until it claims what it can then recedes leaving damage in its wake. Worry is a lot like that. A nagging chant, becomes a mighty roar and the echo leaves us off balance. A trickle becomes a torrent that can wash away all logic... when we need our wits about us the most they are too soggy to be of much use. What if's are a total waste of time. If fretting ever solved anything there would be some kind of formula we could follow to solve our problems... both real and imaginary. Perhaps three days of sorrow for simple issues, or seven for more complex woes, or thirty days for a deep regret. Life would be so much simpler like that, but the real world is a pay as you go journey. We all pay dearly, in one form or another, for a round trip ticket on this train, but the honor of being a passenger ought to give us some comfort. Simply living takes a toll, so why would anyone offer to spend more than is asked. Worry is a thief... of time... of energy... of hope, yet we invite them into our most sacred places and allow them free reign. They will arrive, invited or not, but the length of the visit and the amount of damage done is a personal choice we each must learn to make. Leaving the thief in charge is not mandatory; acknowledge his presence, feed him as little as possible, and make the visit brief. The wisest choice is to save as much time, energy, and hope for dealing with reality, instead of wallowing in its dark imaginings. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "If criticism is mistaken or mean-spirited, rise above it. Maintain the high ground when you're under fire. No victory is worth winning at the expense of picking up the mud that has been slung at you and throwing it back."... Rubel Shelly
This is a quote I have adopted as a very healthy coping aid when I feel boxed into the need to reply to things that would be much wiser to simply ignore. If I'm mistaken I say so without restraint, but I refuse to remain on my knees, begging for forgiveness forever. And when I own no blame I will not gather it up like a priceless gift, so I have no need to spend endless time trying to return it to where it rightfully belongs. In life there is plenty of blame to go around, some deserved... some not so much... some not at all, swallow what you earn, suffer the bellyache, clean up the mess, then flush and move on. If someone dips more onto your plate than is due then simply put it down and walk away. No good will ever come from slinging it back into their face, unless you relish making a mess that you will be responsible for cleaning up. If they are mistaken, you prove them right, and if they are mean spirited you supply them with a switch they will never stop flipping... either way you lose. I always do my best not to shit where I sleep, but I have been forced into stinky situations that I did not create and the last instance inspired anger that created unwise responses that I will never repeat in this lifetime. I gained wisdom, which is wonderful, but the cost was almost more than I could pay. My reaction robbed me of the right to say I was blameless, and caused me more pain than I would have suffered otherwise. Once I picked up the first handful, everything that happened afterwards was totally out of my control. i ended up with a plateful of bitter things to digest and a mess to clean up... that will NEVER happen again!!! Everyone has their own agenda and mine is the peace of mind I get from not abusing someone else's space for the sole comfort of mine. I guess that has been done to me enough to make it sickening to my sight and caustic to my life. Tearing someone else down does not make us any taller, but it does alter the size of our soul. Refusing to take the bait leaves the fisherman looking foolish, and that beats swinging on a hook any day. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: If you are going through hell...keep going.-Winston Churchill
Life isn't an endless picnic of pleasure, yet some act as if it is nothing but... rushing from one place to another, one carnival ride to the next in a frantic attempt to keep hold of the thrill. They travel at the speed of light through delight, rarely savoring the moment, imagining it will never end, or synthetically creating it over and over as a way of staying locked into a certain mind set.
A hummingbirds speed isn't meant to replace a humans normal velocity; if you're not being chased by something that means you harm, why travel as if your life depended upon flight. Slow down enough to get a true taste of the simplest pleasure and the amount needed to satisfy will decrease in perfect response to the lessening need for speed. Savor the good times, because the bad will surely come and the strength we earn during happiness will be invaluable to mobility when sadness drives our footsteps. Heartache is a detour... not a final destination... unless we build a shrine there and worship at its base. When we travel through troubled times or brutal realities the speed we adopt should reflect our true need for understanding and self awareness. Running away never works... facing our issues is the only way to make sense out of the pain, and eliminate the ache forever. To cease moving altogether risks the chance of sinking into the sorrow so deeply that any forward motion becomes a burden that cannot be carried. Move forward at a steady pace, not measured by miles, but calculated by knowledge gained and the journey will be worthy of the effort. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "Admitting error clears the score, and proves you wiser than before."... Arthur Guiterman Confession of any wrong allows everyone involved the freedom of forgiveness, and dismisses a ton of guilt from the equation. The key is sincerity, which is proven over time by not being a repeat offender. That does not mean that you will cease making mistakes in judgement, but it does mean that the offense where pardon was asked for and granted will not reoccur endlessly throughout your lifetime.
Forgiving the same error over and over brings shame into the mix, altering mercy given into a sad form of punishment. To forgive something is much different than condoning it, but when the same issue keeps coming up and free pardon is always granted the line between the two is quickly crossed. Condoning transforms into enabling in the blink of an eye, which guarantees the forgiver a more than fair share of guilt for an offence that has already caused them heartache.
When someone fails to learn from their mistakes then any positives that could occur as a result of the lesson is deleted by default. No wisdom can ever come from de-fault if de-fault is not shouldered in a fashion that embraces its responsibilities. Asking for forgiveness implies lesson learned, or why else would you admit the error in the first place? When we receive amnesty it is our obligation to live up to the faith shown by following through with actions that speak louder than any words ever could.
Self-awareness plays a huge part in the gaining of wisdom. Autopilot is not a safe form of flight for a lifetime; we may use it from time-to-time without any damage done, but prolonged dependence upon it is the fastest route to a crash and burn destination. Examining errors shows us clearly why it was done, and how to avoid it in the future. True wisdom comes from walking the walk, not just talking the talk. Any fool can beg a pardon, but the wise truly deserve the pardon. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
Today's Quote: "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." ... AnaisNin This quote instantly prompted me to consider "life size" as a question of volume, instead of simply viewing it as a description of form. And don't cha' just love the things that make you go hmmmmm??? I sure do!!! I figure anything capable of jump-starting my brain automatically deserves as much attention as necessary to satisfy its every yearning. Hungry notions are such a wonderment.
Whenever any new avenue opens our thoughts just naturally tumble and spin, and with any luck eventually reach the speed of true enlightenment. Enjoying the journey isn't mandatory, but I personally recommend delight over dread any ole' day. We really do have the choice, but if we don't make it... well... duh... don't blame the car... fault the driver!!!
I ponder the part courage played in my own life's size, which has often expanded at such a snowball rolling downhill speed. I'm convinced that fear fueled me more often than bravery ever did, but whatever the motivation it's certainly been an adventure. My biggest fear was that I'd finally become satisfied with what never satisfied me before... and nowadays that's no longer even a consideration.
I wish you all the gift of a life size big enough to keep you enchanted. Downsize if its so heavy it feels like a burden, upgrade if it pinches in all the wrong places. And like I always say... Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.".... Corita Kent I often say own your space and this quote perfectly explains why I urge it and what benefit it inspires. Seizing completely all the moments of life is like looking through a magnifying glass. Our point of view is enlarged, our perspective made crystal clear, and time itself passes in a much gentler fashion when we pay it the honor of real attention.
Every single second holds an almost magical power that is released only if validated. We all have the same ability, but too few use what can only be gotten by deliberate action. This mighty magnifier truly exists, but each of us has to lift it up and peer through or it is just a pointless possession.
You simply cannot see a damn thing with it lying idle and untouched. I mean really, how many books could a pair of glasses read if laid on a stack and left for a lifetime? NONE, would be a safe bet, I reckon. Tools are meant to be used. We may fumble a bit in learning how things function, but with all things God given it does not take much time to become a craftsman. A birthright quickly becomes second nature and gains momentum with use. Own your space! Possess your moments, if not they will simply possess you and that makes a willing slave out of a potential master. Live up to your potential. And as always.... think about it.... let it ride.... then decide!!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "All the masterpieces of art contain both light and shadow. A happy life is not one filled with only sunshine, but one which uses both light and shadow to produce beauty.".... Billy Graham The contrasting of dark against light highlights everything in a way that benefits the whole picture. Once upon a time when I looked at a landscape I focused only on the sunny spots. Sunbeams are a passion of mine. They signal hope to my soul, but that is not all there is to the world. Tunnel vision is too limiting to willingly wear blinders once you have a clue of all you are missing. And thank God I have a clue.
One sunny day my husband called me to our big picture window to point out how the sunlight was making breathtaking shadow art with our trees. The image was so hauntingly beautiful that it is still vivid in my memory today so many long years after its reality. He is gone now, but the lesson remains.
It instantly taught me a very valuable lesson about point of view. Narrow sight robs you of so much. The light was brighter and the dark was made beautiful by their contrasting shades. Life is like that too if you bother taking the time to think about it.
If I had not lived through so many years of shadow I would value less this wondrous time of pure light. If I had never known a heavy hand I would not glory in the gentle one that strokes me now. I am made happier now by all the sadness I once experienced.
If I had been given every victory on a platter of silver how would I know how to survive defeat? If easy was all I had known then hard would do me in without a fight. I thrived in spite of the agony and it made me stronger than I would ever have been without the brutal struggle.
Trial by fire either makes ashes of you or forges you stronger than you ever imagined possible. Being cremated before death is not something anyone should be satisfied with experiencing. Fighting for the right to be happy is a war well worth any risk. Lessons hard-learned stick with you forever. Next time you are fighting what seems like a losing battle take heart. There really is a light at the end of the dark tunnel. But if you give up at the point of your darkest hour all you will have is the dark place where you lost heart. Fight on, even if the battle ends in some sort of loss it is not a complete defeat if you refuse to act the victim. And as always.... think about it.... let it ride.... then decide!!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.".... Kahlil Gibran The measure of sorrow some things inspire is in direct contrast with how much joy they brought into your life. Lost loved ones... family or treasured friends, love gone wrong, dreams shattered... each of these demands agony, at their ending, equal to whatever bliss we felt at the height of their reality.
In a real way the pain validates the pleasure. The higher the cost the more treasured the memory. To be asked to pay the price is in one fashion a negative, yet in another it is purely positive. Feeling it fully can be brutal, yet it comes from a blessing so it is an honorable sort of agony. I know people who fear the hurt so intensely that they insulate themselves from the need to feel anything. It may keep them safe from hurt, but it separates them from joy too. Insuring that numbness is all you are capable of feeling is a waste of life's possibilities.
Owning a treasure is an awesome responsibility. Keeping it hidden robs you of the pleasure it gives when it is hung in plain view, and makes the world a darker place. If we all kept our lights hidden the earth would quickly become pitch black and desolate.
Safe is not always best, and frozen in fear is not a wise position to choose. Life has so much more for us than we can ever reach by traveling those avenues. Any action that steals our capacity to feel is self-defeating in the extreme. Risk much and gain tons. Risk nothing and that is all you will ever be entitled to receive. And as always.... think about it.... let it ride.... then decide!!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears--by listening to them.".... Dean Rusk Listening is an art form each of us should make a determined effort to master. Doing it well certainly does not come naturally to everyone. This world overflows with unsealed lips... but open ears that are not attached to a flapping mouth are rare. Most people are all too willing to offer some kind of advice, assuming I suppose that when a friend or loved one opens up they are seeking a recommended course of action. Few simply listen, even though most often that is all anyone really requires of us, unless clearly stated otherwise. Voice boxes are a dime a dozen, but ear drums are priceless.
The next time you are called upon to play the role of sounding board, let that person vent their frustration without any attempt to direct their actions with suggestions they do not ask for. Unless you are answering a question no comment is required. If they do not ask something then pause for a response it is destructive to the natural flow of their release of stress when you comment. Capping a volcano is a dangerous undertaking. Listen to what they say and how it is said. Take note of tone of voice, tint of face, stance of body, paying special attention to what the eyes say that the mouth does not. There is so much more to proper listening than simply hearing what reaches your ear. You may have something to say, which they need to hear, but leave any comments unsaid until their mouth is empty and their ears are tuned in. Taking turns is mandatory.
You will notice that they dig much deeper into whatever issue is on their mind and often come up with the perfect answer on their own. When comments get tossed in it stops any train of thought from getting them to a sane destination. You will end up knowing them much better by hearing whatever is really being said. They will also gain more soul-deep knowledge and strength that way than they ever would otherwise. Simply save your breath and exercise your ears whenever possible. And as always... think about it... let it grow... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: Curiosity is one of those insatiable passions that grow by gratification... Sarah Scott
The urge for answers can drive us to pretty dangerous territory and create havoc where peace should reign. One tiny grain of curiosity can erect a mountain out of even the smallest mole hill. Some things should be taken on faith alone, or walked away from... look hard enough for a negative and you end up creating one. Prying is an action taken to disassemble something, and if used against someone is offensive in the extreme. Intruders can be shot for trespassing... and most times it is classified as justifiable homicide. Once curiosity gets a firm grip of the wheel our destination becomes the first cliff it finds. They say, "it killed the cat" .... and it truly is the death of many things besides felines. I like knowing stuff, but I do not make it a habit to go digging without an invitation and even then I mostly just listen to words and absorb vibrations. I've been blessed or cursed with the ability to feel other peoples energy in a very enhanced fashion. I have helped many, but I never did anything just for the sake of knowing. Curiosity does not enter into this formula, and I'm thankful for that fact... and doubly so now that I know first hand what havoc runaway wondering can inspire. A mind saturated with curiosity magnifies every negative emotion it stumbles upon. The need to know overshadows good sense and quickly turns even the wisest person into a fool. I learned a valuable lesson about myself and identified a mortal enemy that will never have the power to attack me again. The pain created was brutal enough to get my undivided attention, but not fatal. I will never feed that demon again... and it did not take 9 lives for me to understand that I am much wiser than any cat. Here's to wisdom, hard earned, and well learned. Think about it.... let it ride.... then decide!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.".... Dalai Lama Negative emotions are exactly like barbed hooks and when cast out always tear a jagged hole in the one holding the line. Most often the one aimed for never even gets touched. And if so any irritation is minor compared to the joy they feel knowing just how ate up with anger the angler was when he slung the bait.
Most people who inspire such negative emotions in others are already on to their next victim by the time we recover enough to lash out. They get off on our discomfort, so letting them have solid proof of our agony just thrills them to the bone. Elation is the last emotion you ever seek to inspire, so taking the chance seems unwise no matter how you tilt the magnifying glass.
Negatives are powerful drains. They steal time and energy better used in some positive fashion. People dedicated to being natural drains are their own worst enemy and reap what they sow in the long run. Be a fountain instead. Give your time and energy to adding something to the mix worth having there. Echo the voice of reason. Bait the hook with love and catch something worth ingesting. And as always.... think about it.... let it ride.... then decide!!!!
TODAY'S QUOTE: "Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.".... Christian Nevell Bovee, 1820-1904, American Author and Lawyer Heartache takes its pound of flesh however it can, one way or another the bill will surely come. Even though there is no way to avoid the cost of grief, we do have some valuable choices in how we pay the bill.
With some forethought and determination we do not have to be bankrupt by any sorrow, no matter its source. In fact the overcoming of it can inspire strengths we did not even imagine we possessed. I have found it to be one of the best teachers... brutal yes, but invaluable to my growth as a human being.
I do not welcome it, yet I do not run from it either... any warrior who hopes to be forged stronger by the fire faces it with as much valor as possible. I like to imagine that the measure of agony I feel for any loss is equal to the joy I experienced at having it in the first place. That way it is an honor to grieve and not simply a burden.
Some things are sad by nature, fighting against it only makes it more demanding. So when I pay, I do so at a speed that I can handle paying careful attention to any lessons involved.
No two people grieve the same, we do not even necessarily agonize over the same things. It does not matter what it is you carry or why. What matters most is how you carry it.
Are you in its power, or is it under your control. Do you honor it or does it dishonor you. Do you rise above or wallow below. All these are choices freely made, but without deep thinking they are impossible to make. Giving your life to something lost will not bring it back. But honoring its memory with just payment, proudly made will add to the joy it gave. I had to redefine how I looked at grief before I could come to terms with the mountain of it I possessed from countless sources. Nowadays, I pay what it demands, but nothing more. And what it asks is never more than I can afford. Pain is like broken glass. What is held inside will keep flying around with the force of a whirlwind of emotion, causing constant internal bleeding. Wounds never get a chance to heal as long as we carry the active pain and allow it to keep doing its damage. Honor it, learn from it, overcome it, then any scars are points of pride.
I wrote the following poem about grief and place it here, because it is a perfect fit for the subject at hand. I hope it shows my understanding of all pain, no matter its source. And as always.... think about it.... let it grow.... then decide!!!! Measuring Grief
How much sorrow is there to a pound, What decibel limit rules despairs haunted sound? How many tears make up an even mile, And what is fair punishment for stealing a smile?
How much misery equals an inch, What balance of pain reaches perfect pitch? How many ounces of melancholy can a broken heart hold, And what stems the current when it finally overflows?
Each ache is different, that much is true, What wounds me doesn't necessarily bother you. So there is no equal measure that fits every pain, Because your grief and mine are never quite the same.
