I'D RATHER BE

TODAY'S QUOTE:
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not - Kurt Cobain

Being brave enough to show your true colors, no matter their hue, is a battle for each of us. The fact that we are constantly changing makes it all the more difficult. Our labels constrict us into a pattern as old as time, yet all too often say very little about who we really are at any given moment. And if we live for labels alone we cannot really live fully.

Our roles are important, but our souls peace matters just as much or more. The fact that others have a fixed idea of what we should say and do to make them happy can cause a real tug-of-war. When we can't live up to their expectations their love becomes conditional.The role becomes a punishment of one sort or another and everyone loses. When someone condemns you for not being who they need you to be it's more than unfair... it's soul crushing.

I've been let down by my parents. I've been wadded up by a mate. I've suffered the same fate by many of my fellowman and relatives. Most never ever bothered to know me past my labels which were tarnished by the very one's who were in roles where their love was ideally suppose to be unconditional. They shared notes with others, dooming me to be misunderstood by many. I had no guide... so I learned to not require one.

I'm who I am now due to the neglect of others and my own need to measure up to who I am inside, without caring overmuch what others think. I'm flawed for sure... mistakes litter my past... but clarity is my reality... and peace is my future. I didn't get here by trying to be who I'm not; my failure at that lasted long enough to teach me real love never comes from that direction. I hold no grudges. I forgive all with not a speck of resentment... even myself.

There never was a person who cared more about being loved than me. But over and over the price I was charged bankrupted my soul. I still care, but I know now that if others do not, "get" me it's not because I'm not worthy. Who we are changes daily sometimes. Thank you to all who have been there for me during my biggest metamorphosis and were steadfast in their regard all along.

Be whoever you truly are from start to finish and you'll never have any misunderstandings. If the roles given suit you then play them for all they're worth. If unconditional love surrounds you then thank your lucky stars... if not then learn to love yourself without boundaries. What we can't get from others we can and should gift ourselves. And never change for anyone... and never stop changing for yourself. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!! 

THE POWER OF ONE

TODAY'S QUOTE:"The power of one is above all things the power to believe in yourself. Often well beyond any latent ability previously demonstrated. The mind is the athlete, the body is simply the means it uses."Bryce Courtenay

Possession or use of this power is not automatic; some have very little confidence in their judgment or belief in themselves, but it can be built up with exercise. The critical things other people say can affect our equilibrium, yet more often than not it is the critic in the mirror that does the most lasting damage. Training that voice to use encouragement instead of criticism is no walk in the park, but allowing negative reinforcement to be the navigator will guarantee a brutal journey to nowhere nice.

Why concentrate upon everything that is wrong? Any dark picture that is stared at will only grow bleaker unless some light is directed upon its surface. Looking at just the negatives over-shadows the positives until forgetting that they even exist is all too effortless. Gazing at the good will not make the bad disappear, but it makes the next battle less overwhelming. And battle we must, whether we want to or not.

The bloodiest battlefield is often the one where we war with ourselves. Losing there can and will set up failures elsewhere. Blaming others for the things you are determined to hold soul-deep is as asinine and senseless as constructing a bomb, arming it then sitting smack dab on top to watch it explode. Time would be better spent in building a bomb shelter. The most protection from life's explosions comes from the power a person grows inside. A healthy garden there begins with healthy seeds and the better weeded it is the more nourishment it will produce. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!

IMPERFECT ATTENDANCE

TODAY'S QUOTE:
"You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." Unknown

Well, that gives some comfort and makes such a simple kind of sense that it's too often overlooked. Everyone receives those bothersome invitations to spend our precious time in negative interactions of one kind or another. Often we knee-jerk into battle without taking the time to decide if it's even a war we care to win. Some people need the stimulation of senseless debate to feel alive. Some feel they are always right and grow in stature in their own mind by attempting to shove their point of view down someone else's throat.

I always resent anyone using me in a negative way to stimulate their own needs. Mental rape isn't any less invasive than physical. Shoving and assaulting with words and concepts is the fastest way to get me to shut all borders and dismiss everything said before I stopped listening in self-defense. Being right doesn't need the assistance of added volume or insane tone of voice. Just refuse to engage... someone so desperate to be listened to will be bothered most by your refusal to hear. No words of yours are necessary... fact is anything you say just prods them to continue their assault.

Negative people cannot be altered by your sunny disposition. Fact is they're desperate to infect you with their gloom and doom. If they can change your smile to a frown it validates their attitude. Don't waste any smiles on hopeless encounters. The danger is real that it's a battle that cannot be won. It's like trying to dance across quicksand. No matter how graceful and light your step you're doomed to get sucked under.   

At times it's our party and we're in control of the guest list. Trust me when I say that it's much better to leave it a party for one. Fight your own demons... find your right mind... set yourself straight... give thanks for all the drama that you avoided creating... then invite honored guests to a celebration worthy of your precious time and their priceless presence. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!

BULL-SHIT SILENCE

Today's Quote:
“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut." ... Will Rogers

Ahhh, this quote made me chuckle then nod. All good sense made nonsensical enough to push a hard lesson home with the magic of humor is worthy of a spotlight. There are many different avenues to follow to reach wisdom. The true seekers vary their routes enough so they will eventually travel them all.  A soul with depth is aware that the instruction at the end of each difficult journey teaches something vital to growth. And a hungry spirit understands that all roads teach us the different coping skills needed to thrive in the most hostile of environments.

Mindfulness is mandatory to real wisdom. Wasting time trying to maneuver through a wadded up mind is as frustrating as trying to find a corner in a round room. It simply cannot be done, yet we are all guilty of the attempt. The trick is to, "get" that quickly then avoid all round rooms in the future. If you begin the exercise with a crowded brain then clutter will quickly cover everything underfoot, hiding both the rough road and the tuff lesson. Do not travel in tight little circles trying to learn about things you cannot see. Calm your heart and clear your mind before every new venture toward a wiser outlook.

We are trained early to view things in a certain fashion. The world would be less complicated if we were all trained the same way by the same person, but we each mirror the reflections of our ancestors... until we get a mind of our own. The struggle to find our true place should not take a lifetime, but it often does. A parrot can  be smart... but it cannot be wise. Get a firm grip on your mind then tilt your head until what you see matches what you feel. Your point of view is important... if you lack one then no road will lead you anywhere of importance. Do less listening to others and more listening to self. Do less talking and more thinking. Do not feed on bull then pass it on as fact. You will never find wisdom by following the foolish. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!    

For Sight

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for."... John Lubbock

Normally you can find a portion of both negative and positive in any situation. They vary in size and placement; one may overshadow the other, but their dimension or position are not signs of their importance. Good and bad sits side-by-side like comfy cousins, but the only one who dances is the one you fiddle for... or fiddle with, whichever applies. If we pay attention to the negative it will jerk us around in frantic circles. If we focus on the positive we glide with grace along a much smoother surface.

We may not choose the situation, but we always own the right to select the music and our partner. But time is limited so do not dwell overlong. If you hesitate then the one with evil intentions will jerk you out on the dance floor and out of tune notes will assault your senses. What there could possibly be to ponder between good and bad is not something easily understood. Do not wait for a hint from anyone else about which way to lean or falling on your face will be your certain fate.

The sane choice is to train yourself to always choose the positive, no matter how tiny. A wee positive will grow with loving attention. A small negative will feed upon its host to gain mass. Sacrificing self for the nourishment of such a hungry gluttonous creature will not signal any closure. It is in fact just the beginning of your role as an all they can eat buffet. Once you choose the positive the negative begins to wither and die. It will leave a corpse, but just go about your business and all too soon it will just be dust blown away by the winds of change. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!! 

CURVEY ROADS

TODAY'S QUOTE:
A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. - Author Unknown

None of us like constant change, but I doubt that we would be any happier with a life that never altered. Humans are so easily bored; the same-old-same is often all too tiresome. Each of us has a speed we feel comfortable traveling. Out of control thrills some. Barely moving comforts others. A sharp turn in the road inspires dread or delight, but if panic drives chances are sitting idle will be your destiny.

What is just around the next curve or over the next hill should encourage forward motion. The urge toward discovery pushes some of us, while others lack the nerve for exploration. Just the chance of a bad outcome can halt the faint of heart. Being brave does not mean that you lack fear. The bravest among us are the ones who fear the most, but take the chance in spite of almost overwhelming panic. Vibrating may make you weave as you go, but it will not cause an automatic collision.

Stop moving altogether and in no time roots will sink deep and it will become almost impossible to alter your position. I battle panic every day, but it never totally defeats me. Allowing it to drive would doom me to standing still beside the road, watching all the traffic pass by. Fear is a passenger... but I ignore any back seat driving advice. Living through stuff leaves an echo; each new challenge leaves its mark too. We continue to faintly hear and see the things that changed us and helped shape us into who we are, but any power it still possesses we have to supply.

There is no sane reason to empower any negative so I simply view them as vital exams I passed and I feel grateful for what I was taught, even if it was a brutal lesson. I nod as I pass, but passing is mandatory. What I see and hear propels me forward, yet it would have been all too easy to allow it to stick me solid in a prison of my own construction. Be grateful for the straight easy stretches of your journey, but do not be satisfied to avoid all the curves you encounter. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!     

Settling Temptations

TODAY'S QUOTE:
The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little. -- Thomas Merton

The urge to settle never infected me. Just the thought of being satisfied with the status-quo, when it was so much less than I deserved, was always unsettling. I did not struggle when I should have, but I was never satisfied. Some lessons can only be learned the hard way, and true understanding often has to be aged before digested. Now that my reality better suits my nature it is easy to imagine that if this is all I ever get it is plenty. Selling yourself too short happens much too often, which only encourages others not to value you enough, if they value you at all. Never be satisfied with that.

Dust settles naturally, but people doing the same thing is unnatural. Raise your head... raise your expectations... raise hell if necessary, but do not let too little ever be enough. It may be easier in the short term to not make waves and demand your due or walk away. But the big picture is a whole different ball game. We should always think long term, because whatever you settle for today may be what you are stuck with for years to come.

It never gets easier to wait to set your boundaries. Pause too long and you will find yourself battling invaders at every turn. Wait to lift your head and you may have so much weight upon your shoulders that raising anything else will be impossible. One life is all we have... do not settle into a bad situation and hope it gets better. It rarely improves without a war of some sort. Do not settle for being someone else's victim when you have the power to be your own champion. Life is not for settling its for living. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!    

Real Riches

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"Being rich isn't about money. Being rich is a state of mind. Some of us, no matter how much money we have, will never be free enough to take time to stop and eat the heart of the watermelon. And some of us will be rich without ever being more than a paycheck ahead of the game."... Harvey B. Mackay

You see folks... everything of any lasting importance begins and ends with our state of mind. The height of our joy and the depth of our sorrow is regulated by how we set our mind the same way a house is either hot or cold according to how we adjust the thermostat. What we look out at is not what defines our placement in the world, but our outlook most certainly does.

From our posture, to the tempo of our footsteps... we advertise the validation we assign to ourselves. And that does not have a thing to do with how much money we own or how much we owe. Dimes and pennies... dollars and cents are manufactured in a factory. If we have a lot we worry about how to keep it. If we have too little we fret about how to get it. But our true value cannot be calculated by what we own. If we set that as God then our soul is totally ignored as not worth even two cents worth of thought.

Real riches cannot be stashed in a vault for safekeeping. Joy, passion, and love are bankable valuables and our soul has unlimited storage space. But unlike worldly  riches the only way to earn more is to give it away. Then the real magic begins. The more we gift to others the higher our pile grows. Sharing earns a mighty dividend. Real riches are never manufactured in a factory of any sort. The treasures inside of each of us are priceless beyond any earthly measurement. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
   

A New Ending

TODAY'S QUOTE:
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." -- Maria Robinson

Everything that has happened up to this moment is done. You cannot undo what is history; rewind is not available. It may be possible to mitigate some of the damage, but that is not a do-over. Make your pardon where necessary without trying to justify actions that no excuse could explain. Take what lumps you fairly earn then move on. There are no do-overs, but there are start overs. They exist in every moment we live, but we have to go down that path willingly. And we have to be committed to making changes wherever necessary to become a better person. If we are not making improvements then it is a pointless exercise.

Starting over often means that we have to alter not only our attitude, but also our companions or our location. We may have to change jobs. We may be asked to end many things we never thought would become an issue. It may seem all negative to a certain point, but the health of your soul is paramount. As we design an environment fit enough for our spirit to find peace the positives begin to flow in from every direction. Self protection becomes second nature. Self loathing becomes impossible. Balance is found core deep and whatever hard work or heartache we suffered to find our center is rewarded with joy and contentment of unimaginable proportions.

Once you set foot on the start over path the things you drop by the roadside or fling over your shoulder will mark clearly any progress you make. The further you travel the less debris... the firmer your step the less effort it takes to keep moving. I have noticed that if your commitment is strong you really do not have an urge to turn around and look behind you. Whatever you drop is either of no real importance or it is a real danger to your success.  Dwelling on what broke you or kept you broken has no place in a new beginning.

Once you stop making the same mistakes they lose their power over you. Their only benefit is as a true measure of just how far you have traveled. They can be used as examples to encourage others to start over and begin a new ending. It is not where you were yesterday that matters overmuch. The before picture may be ugly with deeds of every vile description. How bad you were will not alter how good you can become. And a bad start will not guarantee a bad ending unless you give it permission to do so. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!

     

Average Power

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"If the average person realized the power he wields over his life and destiny, he would live in a perpetual state of wonder and thanksgiving." ... Earl Nightingale

It is true that the aware among us are sorely outnumbered, but it is not because of any lack in aptitude of the multitude. Every right minded person has an equal opportunity to access the same information. Our capability to process it or the depth we are able to sustain may vary, but certain knowledge is basic enough for everyone to comprehend. What we build upon its foundation is unique to each of us, which makes for an interesting landscape.

We come to our personal awakening points at different times in our lives, if we bother to come to them at all. Automatic dawning's simply do not exist. No signs direct us from chaos to peace. Each persons discovery of self is primal, sacred and magical. But it is not easy by any measure. We must be willing to suspend any blind beliefs we have about who we think we really are. Too much of what we know is a product of what other people need us to be. Their expectations... their judgements... their beliefs, and their agendas do not produce a valid reflection of you. Most times very little, if any, of their input has anything to do with the real you. Building a life using sloppy seconds is barely living at all.

You are more than the sum total of your many labels. You are a child of someone; probably a sibling too. You may be a parent, with a spouse or without. You may be a student or already secure in a profession. These labels matter... they define your roles, they mark your boundaries, and they allow others to see at a glance our placement in society. If this is as far as you go then you may have a life, but you miss out on the real magic.

You may travel the world, but if you never make an internal journey of discovery you remain a simple spectator of the obvious. Being shallow takes many different forms and the most basic is not digging deeply enough to get past where someone else's opinion ends and yours begins. Your souls potential knows no limits, except the ones you apply. Search out self... view your depth and your height... then simply fill the space with who you really are. That is the moment when the magic begins and as long as you are in perfect tune with your soul then the magic has no reason to cease. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!    

Friction

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"It's not the work which kills people, it's the worry. It's not the revolution that destroys machinery it's the friction."... Henry Ward Beecher

I love this quote for its simple, easy too understand example that is deep enough to allow me to ponder it in my own way. Worry is so useless... it changes nothing... it erects towering mountains over top of the tiniest of mole hills. But worst of all it often infects our soul with unnecessary sorrow over an imagined outcome that never even happens. It  inspires stress and trust me stress will quickly take you hostage. That prolonged tension will choke any positive it touches and if it remains master it will eventually kill you.

I have learned to ask myself if it is worth dying for when something starts to stress me out. You would be surprised to know how many things are not worthy of even a minute of our time. We donate too much of ourselves to this little bit of nothing or that speck of useless nonsense. We act as if there is an unlimited supply of self to use and misuse in life. If you can alter something that is worrisome then do so. If it cannot be fixed then accept it, alter your outlook, and move on. Anything else is just slow suicide. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!