Happiness

TODAY'S QUOTE:
"Happiness is a perfume which you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." Louis Mann

This is one of the truest statements ever put to paper. If people truly understood how blessed they become while being a blessing to others there wouldn't be all this mess and drama in the world. The simple act of sharing a smile, or a kind word instantly sends gentle vibrations to another soul. Joy blooms there in various hues and that moment shared between souls plants gardens of good will in each as a blessing. To keep it alive it must be given away again and again without ending.

The fact that the donation of self has to occur voluntarily can be most bothersome in a world that has a bit too many who are more self-absorbed than self-aware. Too much Self in the mix can insight a riot of selfishness. Some see only the giving away and if there isn't an award somewhere within sight they're not in a hurry to apply. If the getting back is the only thing that matters then any gift given would be fake as hell and would fulfill nobody. The effort may be difficult, but it must always be sincere... no point otherwise!

Any hope of touching gently must be deliberately done, especially when it would be easier to ignore someone who needs a heartfelt smile or a sunny hello. Some folks will meet a smile with a frown. Other's will trade a growl or a grunt for any kind words. Responding in the same fashion will fill a garden with weeds lightening quick. People may not always react as expected, but even then the soul satisfaction is sweet. And when a smile is returned or a kind word repeated it can be magical. Lift someone up and watch together as two gardens bloom. Think about it... Let it ride... Then YOU decide!!!

REAL AND RAW: WHATEVER THE COST, I GOT THIS!

What a week this has been. I was chugging right along, meeting all obligations, to WPA and myself.  Then the sudden stop of that fall put me back in the, "I feel better in flannel" kinda mood. Sore here, sore there... aching too bad to give a fig, for several days. I didn't waste the time though.

I continued to reclaim our home and return my soulmate to a time when sickness didn't rule our every move. I just did it in flannel and his jacket that wears like a hug. Our love never changed, even as we did, and it lives on. Simply put... he wasn't his illness, so its shadow doesn't belong. Laughter echoes here and joy abounds still. I heal with each step I take to return myself to a place where I can recognize who I once was reflected in the woman of added depth that my reality will force me to become.

I don't ever wonder how much I can take, but Lord, I'm not in any rush to find my final breaking point. I never asked God, "Why me?". I have from time to time pointed out that maybe He was overestimating my strength. I have gently inquired if all the things I've overcome, out lived, out smarted, or losses I've suffered during my lifetime were tests... surely I've passed by now. I've very often praised Him for the faith placed in my ability. But blame... nope, not even once!

So this was a mighty pop quiz, and every step I've taken in my lifetime led to this moment. The bad as well as the good prepared me for this reality. So by 8am this morning I was up, dressed, hair done, make up on, and for just a moment I could see an old fire in my eyes. That was enough to make me know that whatever the cost... I got this. I'm sitting in the palm of God's mighty hand, and if He's behind me nothing on earth can keep me from thriving in this home so full of joy.  

RAW AND REAL... FOUNTAINS, DRAINS, AND SUDDEN STOPS!

Some of us are fountains, others are drains. Each fountain has its own unique ebb and flow, while drains pretty much suck endlessly. In my lifetime I have loved and been married to one of each sort and I find comfort in the order of their occupation of my heart. The first taught me hard lessons, while the second soothed my every wound. Without the mighty struggle I wouldn't have been capable of reaching the heights of joy I experienced with my second husband. His echo has more depth and breadth than would seem possible. And I thank God for hooking us up... we were two wounded warriors just looking for a home.

Both of them are gone now, yet here I remain! A fountain with a cracked urn, covered with forget me nots. I sit in my magic garden and remember the danger of drains and the comfort of fountains. I feel pride that I loved even when it wasn't easy and was caretaker to both in their turn. Their comfort always came before my own. I stretched to the outer limit of my capacity then simply trusted God to refresh my supply. Warren always called me a trooper, because I am. He called me a hick too, so he wasn't always right, you understand. In my lifetime I've had to wrestle with reality again and again. I ask you this... What other choice does a fountain have but to keep flowing? I won't be a caretaker again, but I'll always be a caregiver. Living with and being loved by a fountain added such volume to what lives inside of me. It has to go somewhere, for pity sake.

Connections between humans, whether positive or negative fill or empty us of pure energy. I seek to touch with words that will put a happier spin on whatever struggles others have. No dedicated drains need apply... I simply can't waste another drop. Energy shared in a positive way enhances everything. Seeing things through someone else's eyes expands how we see things. Burdens shared quickly lose weight! Mountains become mole hills in the blink of an eye. Patience is a virtue and grace is a gift. The art of being still isn't dead, folks just forgot how to rotate without the wobble. It's not the fall that hurts... it's the sudden stop!

Speaking of sudden stops I stepped down off the first step of a ladder I was standing two steps high upon. Learned that I don't bounce near as high as I thought I would. Learned that falls may start and end quickly, but there's a slow motion portion in the middle. I had time to think all kinds of nonsense as I balanced for that long moment between the up and the down. I learned to stay off ladders until I have the mental capacity to recall which step I'm perched upon, before I attempt to descend. I would say I learned that I'm still capable of rising after a fall, but I've known that for a long while now. Lord have mercy, if I can rise then anyone can... and that's the song of the flow of the fountain that is, with God's grace, me!

1/1/2019 GLENDA ALEXANDER 
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