Spirit Strength

TODAY'S QUOTE: The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.
-C.C. Scott
There is not a doubt in my mind that this is the saving grace of the human race. Rock solid belief is necessary to real life-long success; just parroting that phrase will never bring you any peace. Who mans the drivers seat matters, though some just hand the keys to the loudest protester.

The mind may be reeling, awash in confusion... the heart may be in pieces, wires crossed and dangling, but the soul remains able to navigate even in the worst of situations. Just because a mind is screaming and a heart is weeping does not mean that a soul becomes unhinged as well. View your spirit as the only designated driver and it will keep you safe. Even bruised a soul has more sense than any other portion of what makes you who you are.

It is not a matter of IF... a soul never dies, so what it is asked to suffer can last forever. It has a vested interest in everything that happens to you and all you cause to happen. For good or for ill it is and always has been... the last man standing. Makes good sense to allow it to steer, since it can clearly see the pot holes and cliffs that dot our path.

Any wisdom we gather is stored there, safe from confusion or heartache. It is a place of quiet study. It is a haven decorated by hand where answers live to questions you have not even thought to ask. It is the map room, where there are clear paths visible from chaos to peace. And once you are centered firmly there then nothing that happens can do more than bruise its exterior... unless you leave it totally unprotected by not valuing its true worth.

I used to be mostly unaware of its importance. Youth explains a portion of my cluelessness... mind-set and a heart worn on my sleeve played a large part as well. I knew no real peace, forever struggling to matter to the ones who should have loved me correctly and unconditionally. They made me struggle so hard for any crumbs they tossed me... like a trained animal, stuck between starving or barely eating. I danced to please others and never succeeded in gaining the true approval of the ones who I gave all the power to.

I did not simply give the keys to my mind or heart and ignored my soul altogether. I handed the keys to other hands, trusting them to keep me safe. It took me almost half a lifetime to get a real clue about who should drive. But it is not important that it took so long, what is vital is that I learned better. Now my soul drives wherever I go. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!

THE BLAME

TODAY'S QUOTE:
When you blame others, you give up your power to change. - Author Unknown

The blame game makes losers out of all who play, and some people waste a lifetime stuck inside the narrow walls it erects. There is a huge difference between knowing who wronged you and allowing that event to be the defining moment of your life. Wounds are inevitable. Every human suffers them and all of us are capable of inflicting them. Weapons are everywhere... from fists to whispers... it does not require a gun to take a life. But it does take willingness to remain stuck inside the pain to make the suffering last.

A victim of the moment quickly becomes a casualty for life when too much focus is given to blame and not enough is aimed toward any possible gain. Every scar holds a lesson in survival. Each ache can mark a moment of personal growth. It is not a neat and tidy way of learning, but the quicker a hard lesson is mastered the safer the student remains. Blame has its place in the equation. Imagining it as a solution is dangerous. When it is used as a crutch it continues its damage, without any hope of healing.

When we carry unhealed wounds from childhood the burden on our inner-child is soul deep. Those are the most difficult wounds to heal and the lessons learned are the most bitter. The fact of who is the innocent party and who is to blame are easy to assign. But a child cannot process any lesson. The pain follows into adulthood before it has any hope of a resolution. After a certain point the continued use of blame as a way to self-soothe just gives more power to the one who started the spiral in the first place.
      
How we choose to comfort ourselves is one of the most important choices we will ever make. Sure it matters who owns the blame. Give it back to them; hugging it only deepens the wound.  Using blame as our only bandage guarantees a long life to a trauma you likely did not deserve in the first place. The best thing you can do to revenge an unjust wounding is to put it behind you... rise above it... find peace and be as happy as you can be. The unhappy person who is to blame will never own anything so sweet as that, and that is revenge at its sweetest.

Keep your eyes on the prize and show them they may have given you a bad time, but they did not give you a bad life. To allow that takes total surrender and willingness to shoulder the final blame. If they are long dead and buried then show yourself how worthy you are of success. Become stronger by healing the pain and wise enough to get past the blame. Think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!

EXPECTATION

TODAY'S QUOTE: Expectation is the root of all heartbreak. - William Shakespeare

That was true back then, and it is currently correct as well; fact is there will never come a time when it will not be reality at its most bitter. We subject ourselves to the predetermined possibility of self-inflicted  grief the moment we begin expecting any certain outcome to anything we really have no control over.  As soon as we start painting that mental picture and letting it spread throughout our being the chances of reality mirroring our image is slim to none.

When it is aimed in our own direction, toward things we have some power over our chances of success are much greater, but there is no guarantee even then. If there is pain from falling short it is softened by the fact that we can always make another attempt. But expecting anyone else to live up to our highest expectations is a formula for almost certain disaster. Once we get disappointed by someone else it not only causes us pain, but also alters our feelings toward them. We can quickly develop resentments that they will never understand. We can assign them feelings, or the lack thereof that they in no way earned honestly. And a behind the back scorecard is nothing but useless baggage.

Better to simply do our own part and allow reality to unfold unaided. Be the best we can be at any given moment and let others be themselves, whatever that means. Encouraging others to do their best is not the same as expecting any certain outcome. We may hope for something, without expecting it to materialize... we can dream for better while preparing for reality... we should look for satisfaction inside ourself instead of expecting it to be found inside of anyone else. Do not continue to create heartache where it does not already exist. And as always... think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!

Taking Time

TODAY'S QUOTE: "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."... Charles M. Schulz

This made me giggle, but the fact is that I never sit and wonder where I went wrong. I am painfully aware of where and when I erred. I even know why... not that it matters overmuch to anyone except me. Knowledge does not alter our past mistakes; lessons are meant to teach us how to navigate the future in a safer fashion, and that is never achieved by driving in reverse.

The most important thing that any of us can do is to ask the pardon of anyone we may have caused harm to when our vehicle was out of control. But be prepared for some of the hit and run victims to hold a grudge. Learning to live with that is one of the hardest lessons, only topped by forgiving yourself even when someone else will not. Now that is something that will truly keep you up at night.

It is so easy to see their point of view. It is even easier to understand your own. Uniting the two, giving each equal importance, can be a bit like mating a pit bull to a hummingbird. Sometimes if you both own a victims role it can become a contest where the winner is the one who was most wounded. But when you forgive yourself there can be no mating or contests to make it more complicated than need be.

Be as sorry as you can be... ache for any pain you inspired... own your mistake... apologize from a soul-deep position... and take any backlash as fairly earned. Once you have done all that you can to correct an old issue do all you can to avoid becoming a repeat offender. Learn better then be better!

Do not be tempted to offer the why, unless asked. It may validate your point of view, but to them it may only sound like a lame excuse. Addressing the pain you caused must happen before there is any hope of addressing the pain you own. This moment belongs to someone else. I learned this the hard way, but I learned it and that is the first step toward healing. Not just theirs... you benefit as well.

Knowing the why and understanding any and all mitigating circumstances is part of your lesson. Recognizing the switches that inspire knee-jerking responses is part of your lesson. Gaining knowledge about how to control yourself when everything around you is uncontrollable is part of your lesson. Study what goes on inside... and why, so that old habits do not doom you to repeat old missteps.

Forgive yourself for being human enough to make mistakes and congratulate yourself on caring enough to attempt to make it right. This portion is just for you, no matter if its sentiment is shared by others or not. If you have done all you can to repair and learned all you can in the process then be certain that God forgives you and follow His lead. And as always... think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!! 

BLIND REVENGE

TODAY'S QUOTE:
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - Gandhi

The urge to return fire is strong in even the most non-violent among us, especially if they have done nothing to deserve being shot at in the first place. Slap someone and by instinct alone their dominate arm is likely to rise. They may overcome the impulse, but never imagine that it does not exist. A primal portion of their nature may urge them on, but standing in one place bitch-slapping each other will not gain any ground on either side.

You may possess more physical strength... more intelligence... more possessions... none of that ennobles anyone. If you become a big man from standing on the little guy, your smallness is only highlighted. Trust me, meanness of spirit is impossible to hide. When you cannot function without violence toward other humans that marks you as twisted, broken, and desperate to deposit your own damage on anyone handy.

Some battles cannot be won. Some wars are simply not worthy of our bullets. Fighting against a bully never gains a victory; better to leave them battling their own demons, than going hand-to-hand as if the fight was fairly matched. Walking away can be the bravest thing you can do. Fighting fire-with-fire is not an intelligent action when they have a flame thrower and you have a match.

The Lord claimed vengeance as His business. Judgment is His as well. Karma is a window we can gaze through to view the reap what is sown nature of life. If we are wise we do not stand over-long waiting to see its fulfillment. Be too busy rising above to worry about what is happening down below. An eye for an eye is not your employment... your job is to tend to the health of your own soul. Becoming a master at that will automatically de-tooth  the devils that hunger to devour you to feed their own selfish needs. Own your soul or someone else will always be trying to claim it as the spoils of a war you never wanted to fight. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!