TODAY'S QUOTE: "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."... Charles M. Schulz
This made me giggle, but the fact is that I never sit and wonder where I went wrong. I am painfully aware of where and when I erred. I even know why... not that it matters overmuch to anyone except me. Knowledge does not alter our past mistakes; lessons are meant to teach us how to navigate the future in a safer fashion, and that is never achieved by driving in reverse.
The most important thing that any of us can do is to ask the pardon of anyone we may have caused harm to when our vehicle was out of control. But be prepared for some of the hit and run victims to hold a grudge. Learning to live with that is one of the hardest lessons, only topped by forgiving yourself even when someone else will not. Now that is something that will truly keep you up at night.
It is so easy to see their point of view. It is even easier to understand your own. Uniting the two, giving each equal importance, can be a bit like mating a pit bull to a hummingbird. Sometimes if you both own a victims role it can become a contest where the winner is the one who was most wounded. But when you forgive yourself there can be no mating or contests to make it more complicated than need be.
Be as sorry as you can be... ache for any pain you inspired... own your mistake... apologize from a soul-deep position... and take any backlash as fairly earned. Once you have done all that you can to correct an old issue do all you can to avoid becoming a repeat offender. Learn better then be better!
Do not be tempted to offer the why, unless asked. It may validate your point of view, but to them it may only sound like a lame excuse. Addressing the pain you caused must happen before there is any hope of addressing the pain you own. This moment belongs to someone else. I learned this the hard way, but I learned it and that is the first step toward healing. Not just theirs... you benefit as well.
Knowing the why and understanding any and all mitigating circumstances is part of your lesson. Recognizing the switches that inspire knee-jerking responses is part of your lesson. Gaining knowledge about how to control yourself when everything around you is uncontrollable is part of your lesson. Study what goes on inside... and why, so that old habits do not doom you to repeat old missteps.
Forgive yourself for being human enough to make mistakes and congratulate yourself on caring enough to attempt to make it right. This portion is just for you, no matter if its sentiment is shared by others or not. If you have done all you can to repair and learned all you can in the process then be certain that God forgives you and follow His lead. And as always... think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!
This made me giggle, but the fact is that I never sit and wonder where I went wrong. I am painfully aware of where and when I erred. I even know why... not that it matters overmuch to anyone except me. Knowledge does not alter our past mistakes; lessons are meant to teach us how to navigate the future in a safer fashion, and that is never achieved by driving in reverse.
The most important thing that any of us can do is to ask the pardon of anyone we may have caused harm to when our vehicle was out of control. But be prepared for some of the hit and run victims to hold a grudge. Learning to live with that is one of the hardest lessons, only topped by forgiving yourself even when someone else will not. Now that is something that will truly keep you up at night.
It is so easy to see their point of view. It is even easier to understand your own. Uniting the two, giving each equal importance, can be a bit like mating a pit bull to a hummingbird. Sometimes if you both own a victims role it can become a contest where the winner is the one who was most wounded. But when you forgive yourself there can be no mating or contests to make it more complicated than need be.
Be as sorry as you can be... ache for any pain you inspired... own your mistake... apologize from a soul-deep position... and take any backlash as fairly earned. Once you have done all that you can to correct an old issue do all you can to avoid becoming a repeat offender. Learn better then be better!
Do not be tempted to offer the why, unless asked. It may validate your point of view, but to them it may only sound like a lame excuse. Addressing the pain you caused must happen before there is any hope of addressing the pain you own. This moment belongs to someone else. I learned this the hard way, but I learned it and that is the first step toward healing. Not just theirs... you benefit as well.
Knowing the why and understanding any and all mitigating circumstances is part of your lesson. Recognizing the switches that inspire knee-jerking responses is part of your lesson. Gaining knowledge about how to control yourself when everything around you is uncontrollable is part of your lesson. Study what goes on inside... and why, so that old habits do not doom you to repeat old missteps.
Forgive yourself for being human enough to make mistakes and congratulate yourself on caring enough to attempt to make it right. This portion is just for you, no matter if its sentiment is shared by others or not. If you have done all you can to repair and learned all you can in the process then be certain that God forgives you and follow His lead. And as always... think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!
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