TODAY'S QUOTE:
"Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.".... Edwin Markham, 1852-1940, American Poet
Nothing teaches any better than falling face down. I've learned more from my defeats than I could've ever hoped to from my successes. The secret to higher learning by kissing the ground is to instantly look at what it was that you tripped over. Never rush to rise until you understand why you fell. Knowledge gained while sitting in a heap goes soul-deep. Wisdom is power and true wisdom of self will keep you safe in the future when you walk a similar path, so pay attention to details when it matters most.
Learn to view trouble as opportunity for growth. Maybe, just maybe it isn't life trying to bring you down... perhaps it's life trying to wake you up. Simply folding under the pressure like a rag doll in a vice won't do anything but scatter your stuffing everywhere. Tears blind you... self-pity stupefies to the highest degree, so why waste your precious time. Stop reacting to impress the crowd about how wounded you are and impress yourself with the power of learning a hard lesson well enough not to repeat the missteps that landed you in the dirt in the first place.
Strength comes from exercise. We grow muscles from lifting weights, and wisdom from learning how to rise above the pain. Redistribute the weight then lift it once more and begin real strength training. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
Monday, May 30, 2016
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Dormant Talent
Today's Quote: "Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant."-- Horace
I agree with this in the most personal fashion... without the silent years I'd never have found my real voice. For good or ill all the emotional neglect and brutal times blessed me in ways an easy life never could have. It made me strong, yet left me weak! It forced me to cope when I had no hope. It opened a path between paper and soul... it fractured me yet made me whole. God blessed me with a talent as a reward for walking wounded without a whimper. I'm a real trooper, or so I've been told. I thank Him daily for the blessing that outlived the curse. And I always will!
Some people are born with talents they develop as children and continue honing throughout their lifetime. They come by them naturally... a gentle extension of self. Other people find them by accident and study them until they become second nature. And some of us find a hidden treasure that saves our sanity. There is an internal wholeness that develops so that whenever the rug gets jerked and the floor suddenly disappears there is a solid center that can be depended upon not to collapse.
Whatever talent is born of agony brings with it comfort to all it touches... it's the place where a damaged self has room to heal enough to pass it on to their fellowman. It makes all the difference between changing a willing victim into a wounded warrior. A comic and a clown are said to be funny to battle sadness; they self soothe by bringing laughter and joy to others. All talents have great value, no matter their source... but the passion that comes from pain creates a purpose that is soul-deep. If you were born with one cherish it. If you stumbled on one exercise it. If one was ripped out of you build on it till it can carry your weight and expand it until it is capable of lifting others up as well. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
I agree with this in the most personal fashion... without the silent years I'd never have found my real voice. For good or ill all the emotional neglect and brutal times blessed me in ways an easy life never could have. It made me strong, yet left me weak! It forced me to cope when I had no hope. It opened a path between paper and soul... it fractured me yet made me whole. God blessed me with a talent as a reward for walking wounded without a whimper. I'm a real trooper, or so I've been told. I thank Him daily for the blessing that outlived the curse. And I always will!
Some people are born with talents they develop as children and continue honing throughout their lifetime. They come by them naturally... a gentle extension of self. Other people find them by accident and study them until they become second nature. And some of us find a hidden treasure that saves our sanity. There is an internal wholeness that develops so that whenever the rug gets jerked and the floor suddenly disappears there is a solid center that can be depended upon not to collapse.
Whatever talent is born of agony brings with it comfort to all it touches... it's the place where a damaged self has room to heal enough to pass it on to their fellowman. It makes all the difference between changing a willing victim into a wounded warrior. A comic and a clown are said to be funny to battle sadness; they self soothe by bringing laughter and joy to others. All talents have great value, no matter their source... but the passion that comes from pain creates a purpose that is soul-deep. If you were born with one cherish it. If you stumbled on one exercise it. If one was ripped out of you build on it till it can carry your weight and expand it until it is capable of lifting others up as well. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
THE ECONOMY OF FORGIVENESS
TODAY'S QUOTE:
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits... Hannah More
Forgiveness of others benefits both parties if the forgiven cares to receive that gift with open arms. But the benefit to self happens in any case; no dependence upon anyone's actions, besides your own, will lift that heavy burden. The blame or gain is entirely up to you. Forgive without harboring any expectations. Pardon with sincerity especially when they least deserve it; only handing it out to the most easily forgiven is too effortless to be a big deal. When it's hard to do it's best for you. Believe that!
The weight of a grudge breaks the back of the one who carries it and more often than not tickles the one it's held against. You may hunger for them to agonize over your hard feelings. You may ache for them to experience negative emotions inspired by guilt. You may possess an entire checklist of ways they ought to suffer for whatever inspired your ire. You may wish you'd go to bed poor and wake up rich too... but none of those situations is likely to occur.
Don't forgive for their sake... their growth doesn't depend upon your pardon, but yours certainly does. Their peace of mind doesn't hinge upon your mercy or they would seek it by requesting it for themselves. Their soul isn't sick with worry about your pain or they would bring you comfort. Don't try to find sorrow that doesn't exist or you'll simply hurt all the more because of their callous nature.
Forgive them and if it's a bitter pill then swallow it quickly and before you know it you'll taste a sweetness beyond compare. Complete freedom from unnecessary negatives is a reward worth earning. Oh, don't get me wrong... forgiveness and forgetting are two very different actions. Forgiveness has to be 100% without reservation, but forgetting is done by degrees if it is done at all.
The measure of forgetting depends upon many different variables. The amount of effort we put forth toward forgetfulness is totally up to the forgiven. If they're non-repentant then remembering, (without bitterness) is a valuable tool for safety-sake. If their actions reflect a true change then remembering will be an unnecessary weapon that will likely end up wounding both of you if it's ever used. We each change as we grow; punishing the new for rash acts of the old makes no sense. If someone bites you when you're a toddler nothing is served by biting them back once you're grown. People change... let them... help them... congratulate them... forgive them... then forget about something they'd never repeat.
Use an extra large portion of forgiveness on yourself, as well as upon others. Pardon the better you for all the bull-shit of the past... or how else will it ever stop stinking! Have some mercy for the dunce you once were. Have some pity for the you that acted out when wounded. But most of all celebrate the wisdom gained from needless pain and heed the many warnings worthy of distant memory and forget the rest. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits... Hannah More
Forgiveness of others benefits both parties if the forgiven cares to receive that gift with open arms. But the benefit to self happens in any case; no dependence upon anyone's actions, besides your own, will lift that heavy burden. The blame or gain is entirely up to you. Forgive without harboring any expectations. Pardon with sincerity especially when they least deserve it; only handing it out to the most easily forgiven is too effortless to be a big deal. When it's hard to do it's best for you. Believe that!
The weight of a grudge breaks the back of the one who carries it and more often than not tickles the one it's held against. You may hunger for them to agonize over your hard feelings. You may ache for them to experience negative emotions inspired by guilt. You may possess an entire checklist of ways they ought to suffer for whatever inspired your ire. You may wish you'd go to bed poor and wake up rich too... but none of those situations is likely to occur.
Don't forgive for their sake... their growth doesn't depend upon your pardon, but yours certainly does. Their peace of mind doesn't hinge upon your mercy or they would seek it by requesting it for themselves. Their soul isn't sick with worry about your pain or they would bring you comfort. Don't try to find sorrow that doesn't exist or you'll simply hurt all the more because of their callous nature.
Forgive them and if it's a bitter pill then swallow it quickly and before you know it you'll taste a sweetness beyond compare. Complete freedom from unnecessary negatives is a reward worth earning. Oh, don't get me wrong... forgiveness and forgetting are two very different actions. Forgiveness has to be 100% without reservation, but forgetting is done by degrees if it is done at all.
The measure of forgetting depends upon many different variables. The amount of effort we put forth toward forgetfulness is totally up to the forgiven. If they're non-repentant then remembering, (without bitterness) is a valuable tool for safety-sake. If their actions reflect a true change then remembering will be an unnecessary weapon that will likely end up wounding both of you if it's ever used. We each change as we grow; punishing the new for rash acts of the old makes no sense. If someone bites you when you're a toddler nothing is served by biting them back once you're grown. People change... let them... help them... congratulate them... forgive them... then forget about something they'd never repeat.
Use an extra large portion of forgiveness on yourself, as well as upon others. Pardon the better you for all the bull-shit of the past... or how else will it ever stop stinking! Have some mercy for the dunce you once were. Have some pity for the you that acted out when wounded. But most of all celebrate the wisdom gained from needless pain and heed the many warnings worthy of distant memory and forget the rest. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
Monday, May 09, 2016
SELF-RESPECT
TODAY'S QUOTE:
The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. - Joan Didion
The moment that you stop blaming others for your shortcomings the gate to positive change opens wide. When you dwell on blame you give up the right to earn positive credit for overcoming whatever chaos someone else created in your life. Once excuses are proven useless then any blame or glory belongs solely to you. And how sweet is that? People screw up... they do it to each other... they do it to themselves, but once you notice you're wearing a dunce hat, removing it is easy.
Wearing it for life may seem impossible, but if you don't lift a finger it'll perch on your bean proudly forevermore. Why spend a whole lifetime whining about the ugly hat that bad luck and sad circumstances crowned you with? Outgrow it... outsmart it... overthrow it... or outlive it! And once it's gone quickly replace it with one that better suits your soul. But be warned that the steps necessary to remove and replace are the simplest part of this exercise.
Keeping it off is much more difficult. Doing that requires a mindset adjustment that must be tweaked from time-to-time throughout your lifetime. Altering the way you look at things is the only way to change your reactions. Why rush into action and take the chance of stumbling over your own missteps. Making a molehill mountain takes hardly any time or extra effort, but the struggle to pump the brakes and slow the rotation can be brutal. Repetition is the only way to gain the strength of purpose necessary to become deliberately centered and in control.
We're all walking wounded, shaped by things that were out of our control and our reactions to undeserved pain. We've all lived through, done, or had done to us things that we wish we could change. Letting regrets of the past, or resentment towards anyone guide your footsteps is all too often how we travel a large portion of our journey. The alternative route is hard work that will earn you peace of mind and soul. Self-respect is fed or starved by whatever controls your mindset.
Deliberate action of the positive kind... no matter what negatives you face is a banquet of your own choosing. Automatic over-reactions of the negative sort will starve your soul into submission. It's your kitchen so why not become a chef who stocks wisely and is always prepared to whip up something healthy? Once you decide who is responsible for what happens next blame will be a burden you can't afford to continue carrying. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. - Joan Didion
The moment that you stop blaming others for your shortcomings the gate to positive change opens wide. When you dwell on blame you give up the right to earn positive credit for overcoming whatever chaos someone else created in your life. Once excuses are proven useless then any blame or glory belongs solely to you. And how sweet is that? People screw up... they do it to each other... they do it to themselves, but once you notice you're wearing a dunce hat, removing it is easy.
Wearing it for life may seem impossible, but if you don't lift a finger it'll perch on your bean proudly forevermore. Why spend a whole lifetime whining about the ugly hat that bad luck and sad circumstances crowned you with? Outgrow it... outsmart it... overthrow it... or outlive it! And once it's gone quickly replace it with one that better suits your soul. But be warned that the steps necessary to remove and replace are the simplest part of this exercise.
Keeping it off is much more difficult. Doing that requires a mindset adjustment that must be tweaked from time-to-time throughout your lifetime. Altering the way you look at things is the only way to change your reactions. Why rush into action and take the chance of stumbling over your own missteps. Making a molehill mountain takes hardly any time or extra effort, but the struggle to pump the brakes and slow the rotation can be brutal. Repetition is the only way to gain the strength of purpose necessary to become deliberately centered and in control.
We're all walking wounded, shaped by things that were out of our control and our reactions to undeserved pain. We've all lived through, done, or had done to us things that we wish we could change. Letting regrets of the past, or resentment towards anyone guide your footsteps is all too often how we travel a large portion of our journey. The alternative route is hard work that will earn you peace of mind and soul. Self-respect is fed or starved by whatever controls your mindset.
Deliberate action of the positive kind... no matter what negatives you face is a banquet of your own choosing. Automatic over-reactions of the negative sort will starve your soul into submission. It's your kitchen so why not become a chef who stocks wisely and is always prepared to whip up something healthy? Once you decide who is responsible for what happens next blame will be a burden you can't afford to continue carrying. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!
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