THE ECONOMY OF FORGIVENESS

TODAY'S QUOTE:
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits... Hannah More

Forgiveness of others benefits both parties if the forgiven cares to receive that gift with open arms. But the benefit to self happens in any case; no dependence upon anyone's actions, besides your own, will lift that heavy burden. The blame or gain is entirely up to you. Forgive without harboring any expectations. Pardon with sincerity especially when they least deserve it; only handing it out to the most easily forgiven is too effortless to be a big deal. When it's hard to do it's best for you. Believe that!    

The weight of a grudge breaks the back of the one who carries it and more often than not tickles the one it's held against. You may hunger for them to agonize over your hard feelings. You may ache for them to experience negative emotions inspired by guilt. You may possess an entire checklist of ways they ought to suffer for whatever inspired your ire.  You may wish you'd go to bed poor and wake up rich too... but none of those situations is likely to occur.

Don't forgive for their sake... their growth doesn't depend upon your pardon, but yours certainly does. Their peace of mind doesn't hinge upon your mercy or they would seek it by requesting it for themselves. Their soul isn't sick with worry about your pain or they would bring you comfort. Don't try to find sorrow that doesn't exist or you'll simply hurt all the more because of their callous nature.

Forgive them and if it's a bitter pill then swallow it quickly and before you know it you'll taste a sweetness beyond compare. Complete freedom from unnecessary negatives is a reward worth earning. Oh, don't get me wrong... forgiveness and forgetting are two very different actions. Forgiveness has to be 100% without reservation, but forgetting is done by degrees if it is done at all.

The measure of forgetting depends upon many different variables. The amount of effort we put forth toward forgetfulness is totally up to the forgiven. If they're non-repentant then remembering, (without bitterness) is a valuable tool for safety-sake. If their actions reflect a true change then remembering will be an unnecessary weapon that will likely end up wounding both of you if it's ever used. We each change as we grow; punishing the new for rash acts of the old makes no sense. If someone bites you when you're a toddler nothing is served by biting them back once you're grown. People change... let them... help them... congratulate them... forgive them... then forget about something they'd never repeat.

Use an extra large portion of forgiveness on yourself, as well as upon others. Pardon the better you for all the bull-shit of the past... or how else will it ever stop stinking! Have some mercy for the dunce you once were. Have some pity for the you that acted out when wounded. But most of all celebrate the wisdom gained from needless pain and heed the many warnings worthy of distant memory and forget the rest. Think about it... let it ride... then decide!!!