Awaken Yourself

TODAY'S QUOTE:
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."... Carl Jung

I can remember my awakening as if it happened just yesterday. All it took was one complete image put into words, and I was instantly altered in a never go back fashion. It was my 40th birthday, and I was half asleep when an uninvited notion took hold of me. I said out loud, "Forty more years of this shit, then the nursing home, then the cemetery... fuck that!!! My brain expanded in that moment to view what my history would certainly be if I didn't change my outlook on my life and upgrade the value I placed upon myself.

But who the hell was I, besides the product of the labels I'd been given, or willingly adopted out of self defense? I really didn't have a clue, but I did have a burning desire to find out. Turning my eyes inward was the healthiest thing I'd ever done. It isn't selfishness that altered my mindset about my right to be happy... it was self preservation. My soul shaking, mind shaping moment of impact was a rebirth of sorts. Our births are painful but we forget; rebirths can be agony, yet we remember. Both lead to living... the former plops us down without a choice of location... the latter grants us sole power of choice. Where we plop ourselves afterwards is totally up to us.

Being shit full is a heavy burden to drag along; letting  go allows us to stand tall and take an unobstructed view of our surroundings. Knowing how you got there isn't the problem... it's the finding your way to a path that doesn't wad up your soul that's the next step. The best advice I can give is to go forward... nothing behind you leads anywhere new. Shut out all outside noise and listen closely for the calm quiet voice inside. It's there... has been there all along... trust it... follow it... and it will lead you to safety.

Fact is that is the only voice you will ever hear that is agenda free. Bank on that and you will amass a fortune inside and it will be impossible to allow anyone to completely bankrupt you again. It won't stop them from trying... whoever they are... but once you value yourself enough you develop a limit to the pressure placed against you before you either push back or simply walk away.

Echoes of that time live with me daily, and always will...  it's what centers me in a sane place no matter how crazy the world around me gets. It was that fork in the road that determined if I'd continue to wither inside or I'd bloom in spite of the emotional drought I seemed trapped inside of. I say seemed because it was only an illusion of bondage, created in part by my hunger to please. Once I truly realized that the only real power others had was the power I gave them then their trap fell apart like a house of cards.

Now I warn calmly when I know something in my world is wadding up my soul. Real love doesn't wound on purpose and if I tell you that I'm being damaged by your actions and you choose to continue... I have no alternative but to walk on. Find yourself, value yourself, and surround yourself with the people who deserve their place inside your precious orbit. Think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!