A PERSONAL PARDON

TODAY'S QUOTE:
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you... Lewis B. Smedes

Oh boy, ain't that just scary true? Figuring that out often takes a large portion of our lifetime, but even at a late date the value to our soul is beyond measure. Some, "get it" just in the nick of time, proving it's truly never too late to embrace God's grace. A dawning at sunset is a miracle. True understanding repairs and restores the eternal portion of self; it won't reduce wrinkles of face or form or repair a body worn by time and illness. A healthy soul is always worth the wait, no matter it's length . 

Our main mistake is in thinking that any act of true forgiveness is a gift that we're giving to whomever did us wrong. We instinctively dig our heel in at the very notion of  bending over and ending up getting screwed... AGAIN. Thought patterns like that couldn't be any further from the truth. But it isn't possible to reconsider our own point of view inside the confines of a tightly closed mind. Unclenching is done by a soul brave and true that cannot live in comfort in such tight quarters. Only then can the dawning of the true nature of forgiveness begin.   

Realizing that the gift isn't for the ones who used and abused us demands time and energy we don't possess at the very point of impact. All our natural and unnatural defenses  create a healing distance from the wounding and generate the strength necessary to put it into better perspective. Yes, they can benefit if they choose to, if we even inform them at all. It may be impossible to voice it face-to-face. They may be gone from our life or from this life altogether. Do it anyway!

We must dismiss any misplaced notion that anyone is obliged to say they're sorry for what they did to us for forgiveness to work correctly. If they didn't fret over the pain they caused when you laid wounded at their feet they won't give a sudden shit later on. Sometimes your forgiveness may induce them to try harder to achieve whatever harm they first intended. I'm not saying don't tell them if it seems vital to you somehow. But be forewarned that they may increase the height of the mountain of bull-shit you're dealing with in an effort to show you how little value they place in your pardon.

In the long run what they feel or value has no real power, unless you invite it to matter. If someone punched you in the face  without provocation you wouldn't worry about their feelings. Fight back or walk away... keep silent or scream bloody murder... turn the other cheek or call the police; the reaction of the moment never dooms you to carry that burden forever. They created the baggage, but it's you who strap it onto your own back. Forgiving their fist and the mindset behind its use instantly rids you of the negative emotions their assault inspired. I doubt you'd bother advising them of their pardon, but that doesn't alter the benefit you'll receive.

There is one blessing that makes forgiveness much easier to accomplish. Forgetting isn't necessary to make this magic work. The fact is that forgetting is the cousin of condoning bad behavior. A stove is hot... don't touch it. Forget that and you'll spend your life doing wound care. The stove won't chase you in order to burn; your own carelessness is at fault. Forget about a heavy hand and invite its assault. Remembering will keep you safer, but forgiving will keep you saner.

Do it for your own peace of mind and quietness of your soul. You didn't deserve the pain so don't wear it for a lifetime. Feel it fully, validate it completely, absorb what it teaches, unclench your fist, open your heart, and simply forgive. Get out of God's way and let the magic begin... think about it... let it ride... then YOU decide!!!