HALF-WAY HAVING

TODAY'S QUOTE:
I don't know why we hang onto something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't really have. Some of us say we'd rather have something then nothing at all, but the truth is... to have something half-way is harder then not having it at all. --- Author Unknown

I think for the sake of this post I'll simply assume that the something mentioned in this quote means someone. The half-holding of objects only brings up images of things broken, or backs strained. Replacing objects with humans puts a different spin on it. Sadly it's one most of us can relate to on some level.

I'm not formerly schooled in psychology. I don't have a wall hung with degrees. No student loans... no happy day to remember with cap and gown... every single thing I know came from brutal lessons. I understand the value of holding on, and of letting go. There has never been a time where things were storybook simple. A hard life is all the education I have.

We begin believing in fairytales as children. Happily ever after is planted in our heads early on. Patterns of expectations are laid out like bricks that should form a solid foundation to build upon. Depending on that is our first mistake. I looked up fairytale in my wordweb and almost spit coffee everywhere at the synonym given of cock-and-bull story. There's the sign!!!

We swallow that concept then spend a lifetime choking on reality. We hunger to believe that other people are always who they should be or who they pretend to be. When the shit hits the fan, it must be our fault. Try harder... dance faster... hold on, you'll make it work somehow. Every relationship has its own unique set of pitfalls. One may create an issue, but it always takes two to fix whatever gets broken.

Half-way having is when the level of commitment isn't equal. Half-way is when one person has a vision of how things are, but the other doesn't share the vision. Sometimes the whole concept is flawed because it's built on lies and secrets on one side and rose colored glasses on the other. Whatever the reasons behind the imbalance it always causes pain and disillusionment.

I've learned that it's saner in life to put at least as much energy into a firm and balanced relationship with self as we invest in others. If all is given away... when things fall apart, or people disappoint us then there's nothing solid to fall back on. The only true peace and happiness comes from internal forces we gather on our own. Looking for someone else to fill all the empty spaces is an invitation to agony. Fill yourself first then where you stand will be enough, no matter who stands with you. Think about it.... Let it ride.... Then decide!!!!